080825
an 8 is two circles connected. and infinity.
**Sometimes I save journal entries to drafts but in the interest of posterity, here!**
original draft Aug 8 2025 from my house in Nashville
“All circles presuppose they’ll end where they began but only in their leaving will they ever come back round, all circles presuppose.” - Aaron Weiss / mewithoutYou
So many full circle moments this last week, which started with the 20th anniversary of Paramore’s debut album, All We Know Is Falling. That time in my life, when that album was fresh, was the last time I remember music feeling as light and liberating as it does lately.
Today I am putting out quite a lot of music, and for the first time as an unsigned artist. I haven’t been an unsigned artist since I was 15. I’ve never owned any of my music — and never even dreamed I would. That felt too idealistic. That sort of thing only happens in biopics about older, legendary musicians (and also Taylor Swift, who is an anomaly). But as it turns out, I own whatever I make now and I can do anything I want with it? Seems fake! Before today’s official “release”, I had 17 song files posted up on a website so that only certain people would find it. The point was to offer an experience of music that would necessitate connection and working together on some level. Anyone who got an access code was encouraged to share it. People who do not know each other have been passing around codes and links and folders full of my songs like secret messages. This has felt like a return to something simpler. I’m tempted to say it’s how music discovery should feel but I might just be dating myself.
There is so much to say about the music I’ve made this year. But I think it might be more meaningful to stay out of the way of it. It just feels like a circle. Well, from one angle it looks like a circle but from another it’s a spiral. Upward? I have made it all the way back around somehow but now I’m somewhere new. You don’t get anywhere without going. And here I go.
**Edit: Since the songs are now up on streaming platforms, I’ve asked people to create their own playlists using the 17 songs. I’m using these playlists to inform how to order these songs on an official album tracklist. There have been so many playlists submitted and one person even made a website to organize and share all these submissions. I have been deeply moved by the thoughtfulness and the enthusiasm behind some of them. I’m gonna feature a few in the lead up to making a final decision, starting with this one:
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… and here’s Gayle from Buffalo’s track order, in playlist form:
I really enjoyed the narration. The car as an important setting and also as a mode of sorts. Loved the notes on water and space. And I really did like that “True Believer” was treated like a bonus ending and all the thoughts that came with that decision. Thank you Gayle<3